I didn't realize when we held Chase's funeral there because it was so much bigger and nicer than the funeral home, that every time I walked into the chapel I would still see the flowers and his coffin there. I didn't know I'd never be able to sit in the RS room without thinking about how his viewing was right there in the spot rows of folding chairs are now set out. Women chat among themselves in the same spot where my dead child's body was laid out. It's surreal. I see my children look at their brother for the last time, afraid to approach too close. I see too many things.
